Homeowner

I bought my house when it was just me and my son. It was a perfect 793 square feet (not counting the finished basement) for us. With a fenced in back yard and a corner lot, the yard was also perfect. In my area of town, it's a rarity that my property boasts a 2 1/2 car garage to boot. My favorite spot is my "Florida" room, a patio that is enclosed. I spend countless hours out there, reading books or just watching the kids play. I have a patio set out there and until the weather gets too hot or too cold, that's where we eat.

But.

I wish I had put more thought and effort into the process of buying this particular house. Looking back, I realize I was more than a bit green and that the whole transaction was rushed, too rushed.

I'd been living in my hometown and commuting 45-60 minutes each way 6 days a week. My ex boyfriend and I started looking for apartments and houses to rent in this section of town and quickly realized that the low end would go for around $800/month for a 2 bedroom. His parents provided him with money (good thing since he hadn't found a job since he'd gotten here 6 months earlier) and I was busy earning mine. I just wanted to find a place so that I could stop spending nearly $100/week in gas.

That's when my realtor sister in law stepped in with this "perfect" little house for me and my son. The ex was never mentioned because, quite frankly, no one liked him and he was/is an ass. I took one look at it and fell in love. It was quaint and I instantly pictured how I would make it mine.

I'd never even thought of buying a house, though. Made perfect sense to do it, I had excellent credit and though I didn't have much in savings, my bro and SIL agreed to forgo her usual take and put it towards the down payment. She was earning double as she was both the buying and selling agent. That and the fact that my ex wouldn't even come look at the house with me made me want it even more. He didn't put one red cent towards the house and his name was never on the deed.

The woman who was selling had just bought the house the year before but her husband ended up getting transferred to Pittsburgh so she needed to sell. I was assured by my SIL that I wouldn't need an actual house inspector b/c this chick had just had it done the year before. Instead, I had my brother inspect it...cheaper that way, ya know...no license = no fee for inspection?

First mistake.

Because it was a first time homeowners loan, FHA sent out their own inspector. Good thing, too, because he found termite damage. That got repaired, thankfully. What didn't get repaired was a faulty ceiling fixture. It's in the contract to be fixed but she left town before the closing ever happened and I never found her again. Ah well. Lessons learned, right?


Her leaving town didn't stop her from sending her parents to my house a week after closing to come into my garage to get her stuff. Stuff that was legally mine at this point. I was too stunned to even call the cops. They even had keys to the house!

Okay, so don't let that stop you from enjoying your new house. Eh, the house is a little chilly...let's replace all the windows to a tune of a few thousand. Oh, wait, the walls are freaking freezing in the wintertime. What's that? These houses were built with no insulation? Greeeeaat. Well, can't afford that, but we probably should replace the doors with brand new ones because you can actually see light through the cracks. Just another thousand or so.

Er, taxes going up makes your house payment go up, too? Yes, as a matter of fact, I am a dumbass. Holy shit, this whole owning a house thing is expensive shit.

But, I can earn more money and I'm pretty confident that whatever money I put into the house, I'll earn back when I sell it.

What I didn't count on were the asshole drivers. Drivers who have been known to come up into my yard because they're too rushed to actually slow down around the corner. See, people use my side street as a short cut to avoid a 3 minute light at a somewhat major intersection. They fly through the "Yield" sign or they use my driveway as a turnaround.

I have seen no less than 5 accidents in a years time in front of my house. (Side note: you know those laws that state that you must carry insurance otherwise you'll go to jail? Bullshit, all bullshit. We had a hit and run driver who not only had no insurance but no license and was sent on his merry way simply because there's "no room at the jail.")

We used to have a HUGE Rose of Sharon bush on the corner that we very rarely cut simply because people would have to slow down to look around it.

The city came and cut it down because someone complained. I told them precisely why I kept it that way and was told that it would be at least a year before someone would even come out to assess our neighborhood to see if "Stop" sign was warranted.

My husband bought one of those annoying "Slow - Kids at Play" signs and stuck it right on the corner and I've been known to yell, "SLOW DOWN ASSHOLE!" at a few cars.

I am a freaking mess thinking about my kids being out there playing and having some ignorant asshole not pay attention and...

So, what's the point of this whole post? I don't know. Maybe it's to let someone, anyone, know to slow the fuck down. Be aware that although you're on a city street, it's where people live, where they come to relax.

I can't relax if you're speeding through my street, not paying attention to where you're going or just generally being rude. Asshole.

Oh, and if you're going to buy a house soon, take more than a few days to really check it out. Just sayin'.